A Conclusion (Public)
Name: Balvae Astradahma
Position: Head of Biology
Subject: Stopping Point I
I am making this entry to address an unspoken consideration which I believe to be growing in the minds of many of you. The reason I believe this is due to an observed slowing of productivity and more willingness to engage in social interactions than has been previously seen. If I am on the same page as all of you then this is a very scary thing to admit, for it would mean casting away the thing we have believed to be our purpose all this time. This is, of course, referring to putting a stop to the universal destruction project.
Some might be quick to point to Endrall as being the root cause of this mentality, though I don’t believe that’s wholly the case. She is certainly a factor but there is another overarching truth which could have led us to this point. That being the fact that we’ve been separated from the worlds which gave us our hate. In coming to the Event Horizon, we have left behind all that disappointed us, we have a space all our own where we cannot be disturbed. We are all people who have been wronged, perhaps the only people in the universe who can understand each other. Yet, we’ve barely given ourselves the chance to.
Have any of you ever wondered why our introduction to this place was marked with bloodshed? It seems odd, doesn’t it, that Ryker Caradoc could know our capabilities and deepest thoughts yet was unable to predict such a slaughter. I believe he knew that we might come to the conclusion that we’re coming to now, so he had to create a scenario to set up mistrust between us. A plan which worked well as we spent many cycles just waiting for one another to snap and trigger another massacre. The truth was, though we were ruthless, though we lacked empathy, we were not psychotic. The survivors of that massacre had no interest in spilling the blood of just one or a handful, we wanted to get rid of it all as effectively as possible. We believed it the moral thing to do.
We aren’t good people. No one’s going to make that argument, no one should try to justify us. I believe any of us would still get rid of the universe if we had the chance. The Event Horizon is our prison and it’s the best place for us. Even if we could escape, I doubt any of us would want to. We already rejected everything outside of this vessel and it’s far too late to give it a second chance. This is the only place for us, whether the universe dies or not.
Existence isn’t a matter of philosophy, it’s a matter of perspective. We know that reality is real because that is how we perceive it to be, anything beyond that is pointless to consider. Thus, our universes will end come our dying breaths. If such is the case then we should use the opportunity we’ve been given to live our lives peacefully, away from everything else. We do not perceive the universe and it does not exist to us. Let the Event Horizon become our shell of bliss as we start anew and let go of the exhausting spite.
Thank you all for your borrowed time.
As if (Private)
Name: Zaphyce Rylarose
Position: Head of Innovation
Subject: It won’t end like this I
Such entitled folly. Does she truly believe it can end just like that? Does she think that our ailments are all as skin-deep as her own? A biologist should know better. We have been given such a great purpose, a chance to finally end the suffering of life. I have a condition which not all have, but others have conditions of their own. The misery of existence comes in so many forms, even at the most fundamental levels of life. The repeated failures of those deemed intelligent and the societies they create proves only one thing; that we are the source of suffering. It breeds within us and fans out, only ending once our stubborn lives are extinguished.
Ryker’s unearthed log regarding his motivation is but proof of this. The Arahant are a late-stage example of our penchant for torment, looking to solidify it as something eternal. They can have no perfection so long as there is life, for life in itself is an imperfection. Perhaps they will eventually realize this, as I have and as Ryker surely did, though I cannot bear to wait until then. I am not innocent, I am driven by my selfishness and have wrought my own anguish, and that is enough for me to continue this project. I want it to end, I will make it so.
I have no doubts that project R would make good of its threat, especially if it is being influenced by its carers. I will have to act carefully and ruthlessly if I am to continue to use it. Project R remains the most likely avenue for success in this project and it will be up to be to utilize that opportunity. All will come down to the next test, likely the last I will be able to perform. I expect my death to come soon, the solution to my suffering, and I will leave behind my cure for all others to experience.
That is my project R.