Dry Eyes and Laughter
Position: Ultimate Bodyguard
Not in a good mood. Definitely not in a good mood for this one. Last entry I wrote about having to consider what my next step will be. This entry is going to be that consideration, because things went bad. Again. I don’t really know where my expectations were, I guess Frieda’s positivity just lifted them up way beyond where I should have set them. She sang a song about the fallen giant truly expecting them to realize the immorality of their actions. They didn’t. They saw me, they scowled, they drew what weapons they had, they listened to enough of her song to realize what it was about and they laughed.
One tossed a stone at her just so they’d have the chance to say something I could have made them regret. From what I could understand and from their tone, I picked up a mocking of the creature and of Frieda for caring about it. They’re lucky I couldn’t understand the totality of their taunts, because if I did know then I would have turned more than just that stone into scattered atoms. I also happen to learn from my mistakes, I wasn’t about to let them get to me and run off again. I’m quite sure they taunted me about that too, the day I can respond in kind will be a shock to them. Thinking about what their faces will be like has motivated my learning even more.
She started singing again. Her response to their interruptions was to give them another chance. I wonder how many chances she’s given them up until this point? How many times she’s sung despite tossed stones and mockery? How many times she’s gone back to that village instead of living with the monsters who adore her voice? When standing beside someone with such bottomless hope and empathy, when I can feel it resonating in my cellular structure, how could I give up?
I did what I set out to do. I protected her while she sung the song of melancholy which reached only deaf ears. The ‘heroes’ left without learning a thing, without understanding why she mourned; they just left because they got bored. From the moment we tracked them down to the moment they left, I couldn’t feel a thing from them. It was like they were disconnected, existing only in the status quo of the world. Heroes hunt and kill powerful monsters to prove how strong they are. To prove how great of defenders they are. To prove why they should be adored above others. That’s just how it is, so why should they regret a successful hunt?
I’m still finding it difficult to pin down what I should do as an outsider. The point of the little journey I took was to find a way to empathize with them, to find why things are as they are so I can get a better idea of how to restructure it. I think Uclore has been this way for a long time. Because of that, the reason I was looking for has been lost. Maybe the monsters used to be more aggressive, maybe intelligent civilization was built on territory they rightfully defended; I just don’t know.
There is a way I can find out, though. I lo-… no, yeah, whatever, I’m the only one who’s gonna read this, I love Frieda, but she definitely seems disconnected from Uclore’s standard civilization. She doesn’t have the answers I’m looking for in this case, she’s just doing her best using what she has. To get any further without regressing to the weapon in me, I’ll have to speak to them.
How hard can it be, right? I mean, I convinced an entire spaceship full of genocidal scientists to not be quite so genocidal by getting them to open up a bit. What’s the difference here, really? Given, the Event Horizon only involved about a hundred people and they’d already been mentally worn down and the doubt in their plan had already been sewn by the likes of Balvae- we won’t worry about that! It’s about time I did something which would make her proud anyways. I owe her basically everything that I am, so I’d best make a start on paying her back.