Position: Ultimate Empath
Subject: Someone Like Me
Well, today’s gonna be another sad entry, but not, like, a depressive sad. More like a sombre sad? Like sadness without the utter hopelessness and existential crisis. It’s not really something I’ve felt before, all the times I’ve been sad have come with a whole heap of self-loathing so this has been… refreshing? Feels weird to say because it’s still sad but I think that’s accurate.
Anyways, as for why things are sad, in the entry where I talked about how I came across Frieda I mentioned a giant, deformed creature who was particularly notable among the monsters she’d attracted. Well, one of the things I found out during my little adventure was that that thing was previously one of the civilized Uclorans. Turns out magic is capable of applying its transformative properties to anything it passes through and a lot of time this is beneficial! It heals wounds, rejuvenates cells and can even spur rapid evolution; it’s all around useful. Unless something attempts to retain a higher density of magic than they’re able to handle. In such a situation the transformative effects will occur too rapidly within the entity’s form and it will warp into something monstrous in an attempt to create a body more suitable to house the magic. In the case of intelligent creatures, this breaks their minds completely!
Usually, this makes them entirely unreasonable engines of destruction. In the case of the one which came across Frieda, it seems her song was able to quell the madness in their mind. She effectively gave them a second chance after the effects of magic completely bastardized what they were. Writing it down, I kind of see myself in that. What we found out just today, though, was the body of that creature. Seems like the heroes of the nearby settlement managed to achieve a ‘glorious victory’. Frieda was extremely upset and, even though I didn’t have a personal bond with them, seeing her sad and feeling her mourning made me sad too. I think I cried? Like, I dripped a little, but I don’t know if that counts?
She talked to me about them. A misunderstood giant who realized what they had become and chose to isolate themselves away from society. Yeah, definitely feeling myself in that. Sympathy becoming empathy at an alarming rate. I didn’t fully process the story as she was telling it because language barrier but… yeah, wow.
Ok, took a moment, back to writing this. So, Frieda told me about this creature and how they used to have a family in the settlement it came from, a family they couldn’t go back to. A settlement which they probably destroyed because the transformation makes them lose their minds- no, ok, yeah, this creature was definitely just me. This has gone beyond relatable; this is absolutely uncanny. I guess my situation isn’t as unique as I thought???
You know, that’s kind of comforting in a way. Knowing that there are others who have and are struggling in the same way as me. Knowing that some of them were even able to find peace in a way. It makes me feel like there’s a path and that everything isn’t so uncertain. Makes me wish that I’d personally interacted with this creature more. Maybe if I’m able to pull myself together then I can help others who are going through this? I went and declared that I was going to be a hero but Frieda’s already there. She welcomed that creature like she would any other, like she did me; she gave us a new family to be a part of after we lost the ones we had.
There’s a lot to consider. I wonder if it’s silly to say that I want to be like her? I don’t think a statement like that would be completely accurate, though. Her strengths and mine aren’t exactly the same. She has the ability to spread peace and heal minds and I’m a nigh-indestructible slime. I wouldn’t forgive the people who killed that creature but she wants to. She wants to bring them peace just like she brought the creature peace. I think the most reasonable conclusion is that it’s my role to protect her while she sings her song of melancholy. If there’s any hope for those ‘heroes’, they’ll shed tears of regret and mourn the death of an innocent. If not… I’ll have to consider what my next step is.