Category: Casual Villainry

Casual Villainry Excerpt – Pleasure!

Pleasure! (Public) 

Name: Endrall 

Position: ULTIMATE Weapon 

Cycle: 26 

Subject: Learned How to Type I 


As you all know, I’m Endrall, one and only Slime on the ship, and I can finally type! Kind of! Esret is helping me out and fixing what I get wrong and also making sure I don’t manage to gunk up the terminal. A silly thing to worry about! If any of me got in there it’d just burn right through, nothing would get stuck at all. If there’s one thing I know it’s how me works.  

Anyways, that isn’t the only important announcement I have today! I think I’ve finally decided on what I want my permanent shape to be! I noticed that none of you wibbled and wobbled and changed shape so I thought it was about time I did the same. I’m mature now! And also a girl! No more ‘it’ or ‘they’, the feminine form is more aesthetically pleasing to me so that’s what I am now. I won’t hear anything else on the matter, if you got a problem with it then you can go on outside!  

Um, I think that’s it! You’re all doing great work! You make lots of nice scraps for me to A B S O R B. I typed absorb that way for dramatic effect by the way, Esret just asked me why so now I have to explain it to make sure you all get it. I thought all of you were meant to be smart!  

Keep doing your best! 

Pleasure is a problem (Private) 

Name: Zaphyce Rylarose 

Position: Head of Innovation 

Cycle: 26 

Subject: It’s a failure I 

I told her this is how it was going to turn out. It’s become socialized, it’s building an identity for itself. Project R is meant to be a weapon, no more and no less. Weapons don’t feel or argue with their purpose; they fulfil it with a rousing cheer. Project R should be no different, yet now it engages with communication and concepts of gender. Living entity or not, it needs none of this, all it needs is its goal. It hasn’t even undergone any empowerment tests in the past three cycles! It’s just been wandering around, disturbing who it feels like, pulling whoever away to talk about useless things. It has been infected with the flaws of intelligent life, the very reason why it must be annihilated.  

The most frustrating thing about this is that this isn’t a project which can just be cancelled. If Project R is as durable as we theorize, something else we should have already tested, then it will be nigh-impossible to get rid of. Mobility could send it away somewhere but it’s a unique asset despite its shortcomings, it would be preferable if we could put somewhere we could also recover it from. The only viable option for this project is to push for the testing that should have already been done.  

Life is but a waste of time wherein we ceaselessly pester each other and pretend it means anything. Innovation is my field because of my constant craving to hear or experience anything I haven’t before. I understand this isn’t the norm. It’s a condition; I’m ill. The necessary, simple yet repetitive actions necessary in one’s life such as breathing, walking, lying still to sleep; all of them cause a restless and unavoidable discomfort in me. I only know peace when I am immersed in a project I do not know the result of. This suffering comes from the same intelligence which drives people to constantly look for the correct words and actions to bring themselves temporary satisfactions. Go around in circles, repeating the same words and phrases, making the same mistakes, everything arbitrary in hopes of surfacing from a sea of suffering for a moment to breathe. Who asked for an existence like this? 

Yet, even our Project R has been swept into it. A potentially invincible construct who might never be able to escape that sea. We all might be mentally distorted but what cruelty must we practice to condemn it to such an existence? Why let it know happiness now only so it can long for it later? There is still time to make it forget, I hope. We have altered its neurological structure before, doing so again may be a necessary step.  

I will teach it pain. I will teach it power. Yet, I will never teach it happiness, the greatest regret of any living being.