Take me seriously (Private)
Name: Quinn Osannus
Position: Laboratory D-F technician
Subject: Frustrations I
No point in saying hey since it’s just me,
It’s been one cycle and I’m already so tired of this whole situation. Ybaxi supports my proposed direction, people outside of the field support my proposed direction, but some of them are still up in arms because of how I present myself! This is meant to be a collaborative project, it literally says in one of the introduction entries ‘aid each other where I faltered alone’! Despite that, we’re still so insistent on walking on egg shells in hopes of not triggering an outburst from one of those spiteful assholes who think they know best.
I don’t understand this mentality everyone has where we’re just assuming that we’re all childish sociopaths who will kill each other at the drop of a hat. I see no reason- actually, alright, day one was pretty bad and the premise that we all want to end the universe doesn’t help but we’re gonna get nowhere if we let that paranoia control us. It’s like we’re just forgetting that each of us had lives before we were brought together here, lives where we hid our darkest thoughts and acted as a part of our worlds. We weren’t just knee-jerk serial killers! At least, I wasn’t.
I wasn’t taken seriously back then, either. That’s why I became like this, I have reasons, I’m not just stock crazy. I wanted to be positive for so long but Theorn wasn’t fair. It was a magnet for disasters and the people who survive those disasters end up fighting in the holy war anyways. I just wanted it to end, and now I know the only way it can come to an end. I’m not just inexplicably angry and evil, I’m tired. Yet, everyone is insistent on mentioning how hateful we are in their entries. As is they’re trying to justify it, as if they don’t quite believe it.
I don’t know who I can talk to about this. I guess that’s why everyone’s still so hesitant. We still don’t know who among us is reasonable and who’s plum crazy. Even after the culling of day one, that mess put it into our minds that some of us could be the type of person we’re wary of. I doubt I’d get very far talking to social relations given they’re the ones who set those stupid ‘directions should be considered as recommendations’ rules. Maybe I’ll talk to Balvae? It’ll be suspicious having someone from mechanics talking to someone in biology but she’s actually shown me some respect. Might as well try, if I just sit and worry about it then I’ll be no better than the people I’m complaining about.